Well, I feel like I've been punched in the gut. I went over the last third of the old ms--almost the last half, really--and it's misguided and unusable. I can't even use the vague idea of it. In hindsight I can see I toiled away on something that not only doesn't work, but is embarrassing to even think about. It's not just that the storyline careened wildly off course, it's that I put so much time and thought into trying to force it not to careen that it's overwritten, too. It is badly written.

And I have no idea what to replace it with.

I cut about 120, 130 words, but couldn't bear to look too closely at some of the other stuff I didn't cut--so I know that even more of it will have to disappear wholesale.

I feel weary to my bones.