Was explaining to a writer friend today that my current plan is to try to pay more attention to how I feel about what I'm writing, and use that to guide me as far as when to push and when to back off. I told WF that yesterday I ended up writing one short paragraph during my writing time, using this method. But I just pulled up the file and saw that I actually wrote well over a page--that is very surprising. Huh.

I have got to start exhibiting more self-control over myself when it comes to fooling around on the internet when I should be writing. This is the second day in a row I've wasted time that could be put to better use. Yesterday it was messing around following links about interesting things. Today it was trolling over other people's blog fights. Yesterday wasn't so bad because I learned stuff and wondered about stuff, and kept coming across eerie connections with things I've looked up before. Today I feel sick and dirty, like I've been following one of those whadycallits where they tie a bear and bull together and watch them try to kill each other.

Not to imply that I'm a nice person or anything. I'm not, particularly. It's just like, what am I doing, taking what could be my own time of creating and making something and connecting and clarifying, and instead using it to gawk at other people's anger, pain, and self-righteousness? Ugh on me.