Beware: spoilers re. The Wreckers

Decent writing day, hooray. This chapter (the one with the dead body) is more in my usual line because it's all about one thing already, and there's lots to do as far as pacing and word choice to make the moments work. I felt like I was writing The Wreckers, only not as good, and nothing to do with ships, and more character-driven, and not as well researched, and anachronistic in language and tone. Actually, I don't know why I was reminded of The Wreckers at all. All I know is my favorite part of that is all the dead bodies in the surf and the guy gets killed and you're like, "OMG, did they just kill that guy???" That is one of the most grabby scenes I've ever read in any book. I've read it out loud to groups before, and the groups have been all bored, but when I read that they zero in like lasers, if lasers could listen to somebody reading. You can see it in their faces: "OMG, did they just kill that guy???"

Yeah, now that I think about it, my dead body chapter isn't anything like that.

I wonder if I still have my copy of The Wreckers or if I lent it to somebody. If I do have it, I'd better not reread it, because it might mess with my voice, which I'm only now starting to get comfortable with.

I've been tempted lately to reread Johnny Tremain, though. I don't think that would mess with anything. I know Johnny Tremain is downstairs. But I'm still slowly working my way through Jane Austen's Letters, The Climax of Rome, and Alexander the Great. I really shouldn't start another book. It takes months and months to finish anything, and the book lies around with the others, cluttering things up.

Ah, I'm so aggravated over other people's blogs that I can't focus. "So stop reading them," you might say. But I have to do something to work around to writing, and reading cr*p online can actually be the quickest way to do it, if I don't get into researching historical tidbits or seeing who was in such-and-such movie and who was the guy who played his best friend and what other movies was he in. There are a very limited number of blogs I look at regularly, and coincidentally they're the ones that annoy me the most.* No, wait--it's not coincidental at all, because when someone stops consistently annoying me, I read them less and less regularly and eventually un-bookmark them, because what's the point?

Okay, I think I've calmed myself down. So. Yesterday I put chapters 4 and 5 back together, and it wasn't as horrible and pointless a session as I was dreading. I don't remember what I did, exactly, but I remember that I felt okay when I was finished.

I also realized (again) that sometimes it's best to get something right before jumping ahead (or moving on), because it's easy for me to pick up a little scenelet and get it all nicely worked out--then realize that the scenelet would never have happened in the first place. Without the stuff ahead of it being right, I pick up an idea that sounds reasonable and seemingly ought to come next--but it isn't reasonable and wouldn't come next.

OTOH, if I always go in order and everything has to be exactly right before I move on, I might as well sit in front of the computer and hit myself repeatedly in the head with a shovel instead, because I'll be EFFING MISERABLE either way, and at least the shovel will give my arms a good workout.


*Except Pepys**--but he's getting pretty bad, too, because his behavior re. women is getting worse and worse as he gets more money and climbs the social ladder.

**http://www.pepysdiary.com/

How do you know what to show and what to tell? Trial and error sucks. It's exhausting to sit down to a blank chapter and know that I'm probably going to write it wrong ten times before I work around to something even remotely heading in the direction of being right. It's hard to get started on a day's work that might well end up with me in the clueless middle of wrongness.

But what else is there to do? It doesn't get written if I won't pull it up and work on it. Gawd. Now I know why all those writers drank.

Yesterday I wrote some stuff that might end up in Chapter 7. That was all pludging, and it wasn't fun, but I've got to get something down on paper to work with. Today, did some revision on Chapter 4, which ended up not being such dreary work as I anticipated, because pieces of it took on a little life as I was working on them. Now I'm going to see if I can get a bit more done, not sure where, before Bleach comes on.

Worked on chapter 9, the chapter before the dad's death. I was dreading getting to work today, but it turned out okay--the chapter took a few minor turns I didn't expect, which is nice. Retitled the file again, because yesterday I gave the ms a new title (it's been missing one for maybe a year now) and that seemed to push me to sharpen the writing a little; I sharpened the beginning, when before I would have said it was already pretty sharp. I was surprised yesterday when I had the new title and then suddenly saw all these places with extra words, and places where a little rearranging would make the lines stronger.

Not thinking about the ending AT ALL. For the ending and every other horrible pressing matter that shall go unmentioned, I am a cross between an ostrich with my head in the ground, and Scarlett O'Hara refusing to think about anything right now. I am willing reality to disappear so I can work on this book.

note to self: R&J quote

"...turns deadly steel point to point and, with a martial scorn, with one hand beats cold death aside, and with the other sends it back.."

R&J, 3:1

Okay. Trying to stick to brass tacks. Forget internet theoretical discussions that are p*ssing me off. Forget that working on WIP may very well be pouring time and effort down a bottomless hole. Forget bank balance. Forget everything but finding a piece of WIP to work on today. Forget everything but The Work.