How do you know where to insert information so that it's seamless? The only way I know is to work it out gradually, over many drafts, by painstaking trial and error. I can't tell if it's:

a) in the wrong place
b) too long
c) too short

except by moving, cutting, moving again, adding back, deleting, moving, splitting up, moving. As the drafts go by I lose my feel for how the piece reads, and this makes the process many, many times harder. I wonder if there's some trick or rule of thumb to bypass some of this frustration. I already know to print out with changed margins and font to make the reading fresh--but that's just removing some of the downtime I'd use letting the ms get "cold." It's not something that streamlines the actual writing time.

This is a question of pacing, I guess. Hmm. Maybe if I think of info as dead weight...the way to carry a dead weight is to spread it out in small bits over a broader space. Or make it not dead weight. So maybe one rule of thumb re. info might be to either:

1) trim every bit of excess fat then spread it out
2) make carry more meaning than is called for*

That doesn't solve the problem, though. It's just verbalizing what I do during the many drafts of trial and error. Jeez. I dunno. Would it help to be more mindful of the above as I work, or less mindful? I just want this stuff to disappear into the ms, that's all. Is it too much to ask? I just want the reader to know what I already know, so they can read without having to stop. I just want to keep things moving!



*This is probably unclear. The only example I can think of right now is not quite the same thing, because it's not strictly information in the same sense as a chunk of backstory or an explanation of relationships. But it's all I've got now because it's fresh in my mind. Yesterday I rewrote a description of how my characters got over a 12-foot-high brick wall. I did have them boosting each other up, blah blah blah, just a straightforward cold description of how it happened. Yesterday I opened the door for double duty because I started touching on how they did it in businesslike, practiced silence, so now there's room to imply that they've done it many times before, and also that they're so of the same mind that they can work together without having to discuss it. So the description could be a lot more than just "They did A, B, and C and then they were over the wall."

The thing is, I know all this, and know how to do it, and it's almost embarrassingly elementary to look at, written out here. But it's hard to hold a bunch of different things in your head at once. At least, it is for me. I lose the elementary stuff I know how to do, because my head is full of other things I'm trying to do.

But...I don't see how to make backstory do more than is called for. Maybe come at it backwards? Instead of having a piece of backstory and making it do double duty, look for other stark bits that only have single duty, that could possibly take on some wee bits of chopped-up backstory? You know, I just don't think I'm that smart--to read for revision while holding two layering tasks in my head at once. I suppose it's possible my gut could do it, though.

This is one long footnote. I sound like a rambling loser of a writer who hasn't got a clue, compared to all the smart blogging writers who just sit down and write their books. Oh well--back to work.

Worked on swordfighting ms again. Picked up where I left off yesterday and cut, cut, cut description, trying to make the story follow the characters rather than telling what they did. Hmm, that's not a good way to put it. I mean I tried to let the broader story-action fall into the background and accompany the characters as their immediate actions and thoughts let us get to know them, and hopefully those actions and thoughts laid enticing hints that make you want to find out what the characters are about to do. That's the idea, anyway--I know it's not working yet, because it couldn't possibly be, not at this early stage. And at the end I got a little confused about what I was heading toward and what all I'd just said. That usually means I lost focus and put in unnecessary stuff. But it's still a d*mn sight better than it was two days ago, even if nobody but me could tell from looking at it.

There, finally. I finally managed to stick with it and just do my work for about a page or so, and now must stop for the evening. And by g*d, once I stuck with it I could see little things falling into place, like, "Wait a minute, the character isn't thinking that, he's thinking this." Just little tiny things, but things that make the story matter instead of being a f*cking travelogue or entry in an Audubon guide to trees and shrubs. And I won't have to pull from chapter three, because if I can keep this up chapter three will be here so quick it's the same difference anyway.

Pulled up the swordfighting WIP for just a quick little bit of work, and decided to rename the file, save the old one and tuck it away, and then cut the second chapter to shreds. I named the new file cuttingthecrap.doc to inspire me. But I swear, within two minutes of starting, I looked at a line I'd cut and thought, "Wait a minute, have I explained what this is yet? If I haven't explained it, this won't make any sense." And within two minutes of sitting down to cut the crap, I was right back in there digging around to see if I'd explained the cut line and, if not, what I had to put back to get the explanation in and make sure the reader understood.

You know, it's true that the reader has to understand. But this way of thinking--which usually works for me at some point in a ms--is NOT serving me well now. It's getting in my way, big time. It's becoming a joke. This sounds counterproductive, but I have got to forget about making sense. Get the damn story in place. I can try to make sense later. For me, making sense is clearly something to do afterwards, as cleanup. At least, with this ms, right now, it is. I have got to get a grip on myself. I keep doing the same thing over and over, even when that same thing has done me no good and has not moved me forward so much as an inch in all the years of working on this thing.

Had a thought re. YA writers who think there was no YA in the 70's, 80's, or even, g*d forbid, the 90's. These comments aren't from lack of writing experience, they're from lack of reading. From lack of being in bookstores and libraries during the 70's, 80's, and, g*d forbid, the 90's. Even if you were too young for YA, the sections were right there by the kids' sections.

Also had a thought re. w-f-h. I need to stop leaving in stuff that I know is iffy. It's unprofessional because the piece just gets sent back for rewrite and I end up wasting everyone's time. While I'm writing, it's always in the back of my mind: "Okay, if I was a __grade boy and hated reading, what would grab my interest against my will?" So I keep putting in stuff that I know might bother some parents, which means it's going to be a no-no as far as the publisher is concerned. This morning I've wasted everybody's time and have to go find something else to take the place of a cannibalism/Donner party mention.

No writing of my own, of course. I've got to get on the stick and finish up some w-f-h today, then I need to get a &*$@! real-people job*, because tutoring is over for the summer. I hate real-people jobs. Even if they're relatively painless and even rewarding, they take away writing time as well as the down time needed for creativity.

Was thinking today about how much harder and longer I have to work to cover the same ground as some writers. Some writers' first drafts are complete and readable and make sense and are salable. I have work my @ss off, usually over a much longer time, to get that kind of a "first" draft. I was thinking that the fact that I have to work harder and longer probably means that I have less natural talent. But I don't care.

Thinking about it further, I guess I have a fierce protectiveness of lack of natural talent. Some of it comes from thinking I was stupid in math all through elementary and middle school, and even in high school when I finally started making good grades. It didn't occur to me till college that I was halfway intelligent and that there was no reason a halfway intelligent person shouldn't be able to do math if they were willing to work hard and put more effort into it than people with natural math talent. So I minored in math and got a teaching certificate in it. I bring this same mindset to my tutoring: I am determined that every kid can do this, they just may have to work harder at a particular kind of thinking, or else figure out a way to get around it. Everyone has things they're good at, things that come easily; everyone has things they have to forge through or work around. It sucks if the thing that's hard for you is something society grades you on, but let's admit the suckage and move forward.

And then I guess that initial protectiveness got multiplied by having special needs kids who think differently. If you think differently, you aren't less than anybody else. However, you may have to take the long way round to get something under your belt. You may have to see other people--maybe even most other people--taking the short way round. Doesn't matter. You take your way, and do what you have to do.

So, I think I'm not just saying I don't care to cover up the sad truth that I really do care. I think I really don't care, at least most of the time. I suppose I care when the writing's going badly and I'm in despair. And it could be that all this is me protesting too much. But mostly I think all this is me trying to avoid doing my w-f-h, which is extremely stupid because the deadline is tomorrow morning.


*jobs that have nothing to do with writing

I have been churning out reading passages for w-f-h. Suddenly on Friday my mind went blank and I forgot how to do them. I had fallen into a rhythm and gotten pretty quick about it, but suddenly I hit this wall and my brain went ham-handed, so to speak. This happened once before with some little paragraphs I had to write to spec, so it's not like I was unfamiliar with this particular snag. Still, I tried to force out the passage I was working on. Of course it wouldn't come. I rewrote and rewrote, and it still sucked. Finally I gave up and walked away. Yesterday I sat down to it again, and wrote it easily. My head had needed a break to regroup, and so it took one, whether I wanted it to or not.

I see this happening, too, with bigger projects. I see it happening with other writers as well. Hit a wall, get frustrated because you're still eager to work on the piece, back off, then later when you come back it's ready to go. The conscious writing mind can only do so much before it quits on you. I have no idea why this is.